By KC Miller

It always surprises me when people have a reaction to the word ‘sell’ as if it is something distasteful, dishonest, or somehow disgusting. Often the push-back comes from budding entrepreneurs, who say in one breath they are committed to building a sustainable, successful business, yet in the next breath they say, “But I don’t want to sell anyone anything!” Duh!

Consider coaching around the four-letter ‘sell’ word if you feel even the slightest aversion toward it. What’s the fear behind this little word? It usually boils down to four things represented in the acronym S.E.L.L.:

Self-consciousness

When faced with the opportunity to ‘sell’ something, it quickly seems to get personal, and feelings of self-consciousness and insecurities can creep in. The bottom-line fear always comes down to the age-old haunting questions: Am I good enough? Is what I have to offer, aka ‘selling’, good enough? What if they don’t like me? What if I put myself out there and get rejected? These are all valid questions, on some level. The key is to have asked and answered these fear-filled thoughts ahead of time, so when an opportunity does present itself to talk to a potential client, your mind will be calm and ready to focus on serving the clients and not on your self-consciousness.

Am I good enough? Is what I have to offer good enough? Of course you are good enough! The true answer lies in not questioning your worthiness, rather your intention. Consider eliminating the term ‘good enough’ altogether and replacing it with the success mantra of:

It is my sincere intention to be the best ‘me’ possible, confidently stepping into my best, bigger self, fully utilizing my divine-given gifts to serve others.

What if they don’t like me? Turn this question around. What can you find to like about them! Approach people with a genuine interest in finding out about them and how you can serve them.

#Truth: People don’t care about what you are ‘selling’ until they know how much you care about them as a person.

What if I put myself out there and get rejected? Step back and look at the thought of being rejected. There’s a lot of energy in word ‘rejected’. Let’s reframe the word-thought: What if I put myself out there and I’m not understood? Just changing one word takes a lot of sting out of the thought, doesn’t it? Now, here’s the best part: If it is a matter of being better understood, imagine using the following statements with potential clients:

• I sincerely want to be clear about what I can do for you …
• At my deepest core I want to be of service to you and others you may know…
• Please help me to better understand you and your situation ….
• Tell me more about you…

See the difference! Feel the difference of what it is like to put the focus 100% on serving others, versus ‘selling’ them something.

Effort (or the lack thereof)

Ya gotta put yourself out there! This is where all the motivational sayings come in:

• Fake it ‘til ya make it! Go for it!
• One step forward, two steps back is still progress because at least you’re moving!
• It’s a numbers game. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn!

#Truth: Your success will be in direct proportion to your effort.

Loss for words

Rehearse what you are going to say! When we get into new and perceived stressful situations our brain thinks it is helping us by blocking out some of our sensory overload. Research has proven that our brain literally goes into a ‘white-out’, resulting in loss of words and sometimes even an inability to feel our body when we are stressed or self-conscious. Yes, we temporarily leave our body to escape the feelings of panic or insanity we when we are put on the spot. It known as the flight or fight response. Once you are aware of your mind’s survival mechanism you can prepare for it. The more you mentally rehearse what you are going to say, the more automatic and confident your initial statements and responses will be when meeting new people, or introducing yourself and what you have to offer in group situations.

The chemical in your body protecting you during perceived danger is adrenalin, which is a forward-momentum chemical that responds best to oxygen. Turn the sensation of danger into excitement!

#Truth: Taking a deep breath will harness the adrenalin. Taking a second deep breath will produce a powerful sense of confidence. A third focused breath will render you unstoppable! Go get ‘em tiger!

Loser-thinking

Ouch, excuse me for being so direct. If there is even a thought in your mind that you might lose the ‘sale’ or something that flicks you into the past, reminding you of past failures, confront it! Coach around it! Concentrate on reprogramming your mind, and spirit, with new images of what you do want to create and achieve. It has been said: If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.

#Truth: Watch stinkin’ thinkin’! Mentally rehearse being a winner! Visualize what you do what!

A formula of successful selling can be boiled down to four easy steps using the acronym S.E.L.L. ~

Serve vs. Sell

When your focus becomes that of serving others, rather than selling something, your entire orientation to the process changes. Rather than ever thinking you need to ‘hard-sell’ anyone or anything, imagine ‘soft-serving’ using the advice offered by Marianne Williamson, a respected authority in the field of holistic entrepreneurship, and author of The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles‎. She reminds us of a daily prayer from A Course in Miracles:

• “Where would you have me go?
• What would you have me do?
• What would you have me say, and to whom?”

#Truth: If you pray to be of service, you will never need to sell. You will be guided and directed to where you are to go and what you are to do.

Evolve

As a long-time holistic entrepreneur, it is my firm conviction each step of building our business is an opportunity for growth on a spiritual level. My personal practice is to refer to the classic body of work known as the Yoga Sutras as an outline for how I choose to ‘do’ business in the world. One of the main premises of the yoga sutras is learning to control the ‘fluctuations of the mind’. Yogic thinking is learning to stop fretting, to slow the ‘monkey mind’, and to focus on being in the present moment.

Imagine asking the provocative question of yourself: How is my business mirroring my mind? Am I scattered? Am I focused?

#Truth: As the fluctuations of our mind go, so goes our business-life! Evolve to a higher, clearer, calmer space on all levels ~ personal, business and spiritual.

Listen

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen twice as much as you speak. Interestingly enough listening is not the same as hearing. Hearing refers to the sounds that you hear, whereas listening requires more than that: it requires focus. Listening means paying attention to the story the person is telling, how it is being told, the use of language, their intonation and truly noticing how the other person uses his or her body. In other words, it means being consciously aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages so that you can deeply understand how what you have to offer could fill a need for them, whether they recognize it as an un-fulfilled need or not. The true goal is to listen from an empathetic, therapeutic perspective which involves a deeper connection – a realization and understanding of another person’s point of view. When you listen this authentically people will feel how much you care. We will be building rapport and a long-lasting relationship, not just a quick ‘sale’. A sustainable business is built on relationships, with the foundation being trust and respect.

Laugh, Live, Love

One of the foremost sales trainers in the country is a man named Ken Thoreson, who wrote a book and publishes a monthly newsletter entitled Your Sales Management Guru. His main message is:

If it isn’t fun, it isn’t sales.

Ken Thoreson confesses he borrowed the phrase a Boy Scout camp leader whose mantra was: “if it isn’t fun, it isn’t scouting”. His point is for those who are committed to providing heart-felt service to others over being concerned about just making the sale, we might choose to adopt The Boys Scouts of America leadership list of qualities. Consider this shortened list:

1. Keep your word. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
2. Be a Good Communicator. You don’t need a commanding voice to be a good leader; you must be willing to step out front with an effective “Let’s go.” A good leader knows how to get and give information so that everyone understands what’s going on.
3. Be Flexible. Everything doesn’t always go as planned. Be prepared to shift to ‘plan B’ when ‘plan A’ doesn’t work.
4. Set an Example. The most important thing you can do is lead by example. Whatever you do, those watching are likely to do the same. A cheerful attitude can keep everyone’s spirits up.
5. Be Consistent. Nothing is more confusing than a leader who is one way one moment and another way a short time later. If people know what to expect from you, they will more likely respond positively to you and what you propose.

It’s important to realize as a business owner ‘selling’ a product, service or idea is the action step required for you to have a viable business. Nothing happens until someone ‘sells’ something! The most happens when you are committed to caring about others so much that they choose to do business with you and recommend to others they do the same.

#Truth: ‘Sell’ love by the way you consciously create client connections. Close the gap between what they dream of wanting to deliver what they may have never dreamed possible.